Staying Independent at Home
A few thoughts about getting the right support.
Growing older is part of life... and can be fun! If you think about it, we start to grow old the moment we take our first breath – it’s just a part of life. Aging however has no bearing on our ability to thrive and thriving means to feel like yourself, feeling connected, living with purpose, and still finding moments of joy and meaning in everyday life. And have I mentioned fun? It is about having fun, laughing, and appreciating life in all its fullness.
We often experience thriving in our own homes and the good news is that with the right support can help people stay independent for longer at home. Deciding if you need care is not about giving away your autonomy or freedom, it is about being wise and planning for as much independence for as long as possible!
When extra support helps
Throughout my life I have made use of support! In the garden, doing my taxes, with ironing, banking, preparing food and even traveling. Independence does not mean doing absolutely everything alone. It means having the freedom to live your life in the way that feels right to you.
When I had to do my taxes when I was in my 30’s, it was clear I needed help. With aging however, our support needs often shift a little and are much more subtle and not so easy to identify. So here are a few signs you can look out for:
If you start to feel unsteady on your feet
Daily tasks feel more tiring
Medications become confusing
You have had a hospital stay and need some time to recover back to your old self
Family members worry about you
These are all good reasons to consider and plan for some more support at home. I have found that sometimes we allow care in our lives more for those around us to have peace of mind, rather than ourselves!
What extra support looks like
Remember the good old days when you were thriving? We might have to tweak a few things, but we can have much of those good old days again. When our eyesight is not great, we don’t stop looking, we get glasses. And when our hearing struggles, hearing aids help. When we lose a leg we don’t stop moving…we replace it with a prosthetic or wheels!
We can also tweak a few small things at home to maintain our independence in a safe way by allowing:
a person (neighbour, carer, friend) to check in with us regularly
someone to help with meal preparation (who does not want that?)
someone to help with light house cleaning.
someone to assist with that slippery bathtub or shower
someone to take us to the mall or a doctor’s appointment
Or just having someone over to play a game!
Caring or receiving support is not about having a person in your home to look over your shoulder the whole day. It is about having a trained care professional to visit for an hour or two or asking a neighbour or a grandchild to assist with the one or two things that will allow you to stay independent in your own home.
Staying in Charge
Receiving support does not mean giving up your voice.
You should always feel comfortable:
asking questions
expressing preferences
choosing who helps you
deciding what kind of support you want
Good care should always respect your dignity and independence.
A few practical ideas for yourself
There are a few simple things that you can do today to make your home even more comfortable and safe for yourself…and that will help those that care about you, have peace of mind:
Keep your phone on you. There are fancy panic buttons one can get in case of an emergency however, what we have seen is when emergency numbers are saved on one’s phone and it is easy to find, and the phone is always in a pocket or in a stylish pouch hanging around the neck, it can be a lifesaver!
Keep a list of medications in an easy-to-find place
Make sure walkways and bathrooms have good lighting and remove loose rugs that could cause falls
Let someone know if something doesn’t feel right with your health. No need for anyone to do anything, just good for people to know.
Small tweaks can make a big difference.
Asking for support is a sign of wisdom and good planning
The goal is not to take anything away from you. The goal is to help you continue living life as long as possible in the place you feel most comfortable — thriving at home.